Dear Doris

I am a young hearted and spirited elder and I am open for a loving relationship – a friend, companion, lover. With a ratio of nine women to one man available what do you suggest?

L.

Dear L.

Statistics like that can be discouraging and may not even be accurate. On the other hand, you state that you are young at heart and ready and open for a new love relationship in your life. Why not go for it? You have a choice here: Let the statistics discourage you or let your young and spirited heart take the lead. I’m sure your heart still has dreams and hopes no matter what your age.

The beginning of a new year is a perfect time to focus on your hopes and dreams. Think and/or journal about what kind of relationship you would like to create with this new friend, companion, or lover. Envision what you would like to do together and what kind of a person he or she might be. What type of conversations and discussions might you have? What would stir your excitement in the relationship? What kind of atmosphere would exist between the two of you most often: humorous, sweet, understanding, …? How much time would you like to spend together and how much time alone or with others would you like to have? Utilizing your elder wisdom, imagine how you would work out your disagreements differently in this new relationship. What might that feel like?

Keep your dreams close to your heart and continue to elaborate on them. When you have a clear sense of what you would like to create, here are some options you can try. Some people enjoy interacting with others over the internet using dating platforms. Others like to spend time getting to know other people at social events. It is best to be open to all kinds of people and not just focus on people you might like to date. You may want to trust a good friend to “set you up” with someone he or she believes might be a good match for you. You may discover that someone you already know has loving relationship potential.

I personally believe that finding a good match is a mix of being ready and open for a relationship, making yourself available and your intentions known to others, and a portion of good luck. Prepare yourself as best you can on your end, and trust that your dreams can come true.

Good luck for a fulfilling 2015!!!

Doris

If you have any relationship questions, please send them to doriswier@embraceconflicts.com